May I or Must I?

by Commissioner Susan Bukiewicz

Hannah Whitall Smith was a Quaker born in Philadelphia in 1832. Her book, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, is a classic. I don’t know if my mom read it, but I know she would have objected to the title. She taught my four sisters and me that for Christ-followers, being “happy people” was not biblical, but being joyful people was.

I’m pretty sure that’s what Hannah meant. And according to her, the “secret” is to trust implicitly in the promises of the Word of God. She believed firmly in the inerrancy of Scripture.

One of my very favorite books is Devotional Classics: Selected Readings for Individuals and Groups, edited by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith. It includes an excerpt from Hannah’s book in a section called “Recovering the Joy of Service.” I’ve been drawn to that chapter more than once in 44 years of officership.

Throughout my life and service as a Christ-follower, I have struggled with what Hannah calls the “May I?” of love and the “Must I?” of duty. I grew up believing that attention to duty was the indication that I was living a holy life. After all, we sing “By the pathway of duty flows the river of God’s grace.”

Why don’t we sing, “By the pathway of prayer, or fellowship with the saints, or hiding His Word in our hearts, flows the river of God’s grace”? Now I understand that the writer was saying that as we serve, God’s grace flows. Truth.

My ongoing problem was that the “May I?” often became “Must I?” and even in that soul-condition I still thought I’d grasped hold of holiness: It was my effort that counted. I needed what another Quaker, Thomas Kelly, described as “developing an acquaintance WITH God, not merely acquiring knowledge ABOUT God.”

An understanding of holiness began for me with the truth of 2 Peter 1:3–8 (NLT):

“By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

“In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

These verses describe a beautiful divine and human cooperation — the Holy Spirit comes alongside us as we intentionally and willfully supplement our faith with goodness, knowledge, self-control, patient waiting, godliness, love of the brethren, and agape love, and He animates and empowers our efforts.

My mother journaled all of her life. She was ill for some time before she passed, and when she went into hospice my sisters and I were privileged to read some of her writings.

As we read at her bedside, every few minutes one of us would say, “Listen to this…” and we would all hear my mom’s heart, sometimes aching, sometimes joyful, sometimes overburdened, sometimes prophetic, but always seeking more as a busy corps officer herself.

We quickly saw that there had been a theme to my mom’s life. Every day her prayer was “Oh God, help me to order my life around my soul.” And she did. That’s what I want to do!

We need the divine and human cooperation that changes the mind and heart so we can walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, actually displaying the truth that we have been entirely sanctified.

We don’t elevate the “May I?” It is merely the fruit. But the root of it is this divine cooperation at work in us every day, and we surrender ourselves to this —