It Does Take a Village
by Joyce Hodgson Post
At a moment’s notice, Emergency Disaster Services personnel are asked to pack up and head to a wide variety of disaster events. It might be as cataclysmic as the horrific fires in California, or mudslides in North Carolina, or a local house fire. In any case, the need is great. It is their mission to serve, and time away from their home can be 24 hours or 24 days.
When the call comes, most staff members must ensure the needs of their families, which can include children, parents, and pets. Who is available to take on the varied needs of these loved ones, not only at a moment’s notice but for extended periods of time?
Family matters
Children have busy schedules with school, lessons, sports, and church activities. A grandparent, other family member, or friend must adjust their own schedule to accommodate the child’s needs. And it is psychologically difficult for children to understand why their parent must leave. As they get older, the ability to understand grows, but they worry about their loved one who’s away serving others.
Seth Ditmer, director of Emergency Disaster Services (EDS) in New Jersey, says he could not be as effective in his work without having confidence in his support system at home.
“I know my wife, Lili, will have everything squared away and my parents, her parents, and our close network of friends and support from church will be around to step in as needed,” Ditmer says. “That strengthens and galvanizes me to focus on my role during deployment, to make sure I and my team are as impactful as possible.”
Sharing the perspective of the spouse who jumps in, Lili says deployments can be hard on a family. With three children and a full-time job of her own, she feels the impact heavily, no matter how long her husband is away.
“It takes a few days after he leaves to find a new balance for handling everything,” she says. “Sometimes choices are made from survival — later bedtime for the kids because the balance just did not strike that night, the slight spike in fast food or ordering in, a little more TV or video game time, and less sleep for me because three children create a lot of messes, laundry, and dishes.
“Over the last few years, we’ve experienced eight deployments, nine if you include the pandemic’s height. There are times when you don’t hear from your loved one and it’s hard not to fill with worry. At home, I am beyond grateful for the village that has surrounded me. While I know it’s hard for me and our children, I know Seth’s value. We are so proud of the work he has done and the relationships he has developed.”
Emily Mew, EDS director for the Massachusetts Division, says that even those who have a second parent in the home can struggle.
“They may even face resentment from their partners at times,” Mew says. “I do a lot of post-deployment interviews for people coming home from deployment and I recognize that reintegration into their ‘normal lives’ can be tough, especially when their families can’t understand or have little context for what they just went through for two full weeks. Every deployment is so unique. But overall, it’s often both hard to leave and hard to come home.”
Fur babies
For single EDS staff members, spouses and children may not be a concern, but many have pets who are loved just as much. Katie Perrett, director of EDS for the Northern New England Division, must find care for her dog Penny and ensure that her needs are being met. Kennel care is a huge expense, so extended deployments can be a challenge.
“Finding a place where she is safe and comfortable while I’m deployed allows me to focus on the job at hand,” Perrett says. “Having the support of loved ones and those within your personal community, especially when I must pack up and prepare for service, is a game changer. I’m blessed to have willing family and friends at my time of need, so I can serve those in their time of need.”
For the caregivers who step in to look after a child, an elderly parent, or a pet, the commitment is truly a gift.
“We are so blessed to live in a place where disasters don’t often happen, and our hearts go out to those who are affected,” says Perrett’s mother. “While Katie is away for weeks, taking care of Penny lets us participate in the mission, and Katie can keep focused on the needs of many. We can be the support team that is critical to the success of each deployment of our loved one.”
Deployment blues
Not unlike U.S. military members, EDS staff members and their volunteer peers can face devastation and upheaval on deployment. Determining the needs of disaster victims, then stepping away once the needs are addressed, can be tough. Long-term disasters require multiple teams to rotate, with many individuals following up on the community’s needs and the relationships developed with local officials and other nonprofits.
“It’s like handing over your child’s needs to someone you don’t know,” Perrett says. On deployment in Florida, she grew concerned about a multistory housing complex and its elderly and disabled residents living without electricity or a working elevator. Even after she returned home, she wanted to be sure that the new team would provide them with continued support. “I contacted my colleagues in Florida to get status updates. What those people were going through was always on my mind. It hurt my heart to think of them in that condition.”
Technology can provide an extra hand in the EDS world. Mew, a single mom with two children, says it has helped her continue bringing her expertise to the field after returning home. After a stint as planning chief in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Fiona, she finished the deployment virtually, participating in meetings via video conferencing.
Photos courtesy of Seth Ditmer, Katie Perrett, and Emily Mew.
