When did this happen? How did I miss the signs? I don’t know; but it doesn’t really matter as it is happening and the signs are now clear. I don’t like what’s happening. But life continues. I can’t take it away. I can’t fix it. But I can make it easier. Easier for her. For the woman who brought me into this world. For the woman who would have sacrificed everything for me. Knowing all of the details is no longer needed. Giving her reason to worry is not helpful. Telling her that I already told her something that she can’t remember helps no one and only causes frustration. She needs to know that she is loved. Loved by me. Loved by other people. I am journeying with her.
“Honor your father and mother…” Exodus 20:12
I fly or I drive miles to hug her, to search for a safer place to live, to pack her belongings, to move her, to move her again, to talk to doctors, to visit her in the hospital, to move her yet again. So difficult. So confusing. So frustrating for someone who used to be strong but who is now frail. I willingly journey with her.
Where are answers found? What are the needed questions to ask? Who makes which decisions? Thank you for those who are journeying with us through advice, prayers, visits, appointments. Thank you for being the Body of Christ, the family of God, and precious friends. You are needed in this journey.
If you are journeying with an aging parent, I understand, I really do. And I know that you understand, too. If you are journeying from a distance with a loved one, I understand. I understand the tension between needing to be with that family member and needing to be at work. I understand the tension between needing help and not wanting to ask. I understand the tension of needing to talk about it and knowing that people don’t really want to hear about it again. I understand the tension when making a decision to take personal vacation or spending it with the one you love. I understand parts of your journey.
This FIRST is not a reflection of journeying years ago. This FIRST is current, it’s now. This journey is a spiritual discipline. It’s drawn me closer to God through each difficult step and new stage. God is transforming my heart and thoughts. Stronger trust in Him is on a new level. Empathy and understanding of other people’s similar journeys are easier.
Mother, I love you and I am committed to journeying with you. You are precious. This journey is a gift from God for both of us and for others.